Archive for the ‘"My Stories-Real life and more"’ Category

That was the coldest Friday during the winter season in Kuwait.
I am the laziest person on Fridays always in the comfortable warm inside the blanket and wanted to sleep on the bed all the twenty four hours, with Renu, if she is not angry.
But that day it has been disturbed by Renu’s loud voice.
“Hay Ayyan, get up, did you forget that?”
“Today is the party that Mohan invited us?’
“O my god !! alright, I forgot that, their happy anniversary, right?’
“Yes, come out and be ready quick, we are already late man. “
Mohan is one of my smartest subordinate and this is the first time he invited me to a party as a chief guest once after he brought his family after a long period of bachelor life here. That was not only an anniversary party but he wanted to give a treat for us and to introduce her wife to everybody.
He was a family friend of us for many years and Renu was also happy to meet his wife for the first time.
“Alright I will be ready in five minutes, what about you and what about the gift?”
“I know you will ask this, so… I did it same like every time.”
She was clever and she had already purchased and well packed the gift and shown me.
“Oh dear that’s very fine,”
We reached to the venue almost one hour late and everybody was already there and finally waiting for us.
Mohan and wife came out with wishes and he introduced us to his wife, Renu quickly hold her hand and started asking many questions while I was recollecting something in my memory.
They greeted us and invited for some drinks and then went to others.
Soon they came back and sat in front of us.
Renu gave her gift and then that was my turn to ask something.
I calmly asked her name and confirmed something then asked little loudly.

“Hay Priya, could you please explain me something”?

What Sir?

“Tell me what the ways that AIDS can be transmitted are?”



All the people around stunned by hearing my question.

Renu stopped drinking and staring to my face with unbelief.

She asked with chocking words, what Ayyan, what happened you? What did you ask to her just now?

Yes that’s what I asked, Priya give me the answer?

“I asked again”

Priya was still in the shock that what she heard from her husband’s boss and in a dilemma what to say or not to say and she was looking to Mohan’s face like crying.

I didn’t want to trouble everybody for long time, so I laughed and broke the silence.

“Hay Dear Priya you have studied in Baselius college right?”

“Yes Sir, how do you know that?’

“Can you remember your classes in Kings English institute and look on my face again?”

Again silence for a few moments….

Suddenly the expressions changed on her face and asked me loudly…

“Yes Sir I can remember you sir, oh was that you sir our grammar teacher?”

“Yes, exactly..” I said.

“Oh my god!! I can remember, and very very sorry about that sir, but I am so happy to know that you still remember me.”
Everybody sighed with relief including Renu but was in enthusiastic to know what the story is behind.

Then party hall become a class room and I become a story telling teacher.

After the completion of my studies, I was desperately looking for a job.
I was a topper in the college and that made my life troublesome.
Because of all my relatives and neighbors were thinking that I am a top ranker and companies are going to come to my home immediately after the course and they are going to pick me up and put in the manager’s seat.

But that was not the real fact.

Nothing happened after many months also.
The procedure of sending applications and attending interviews continued endless and I become despaired and not in a situation to look on others faces.
And who ever I meet on road was asking about my job and that question was irritating me like anything.
I didn’t want to sit in home with out doing any job and that was killing boring.
I changed my daily routine.
Every day I waited up to nine o’clock to watch the arrival of postman with any white cover in hand. I was always expecting some interview or appointment letters.
Those days internet and email were not even in my dreams also.
So my time pass was only one thing.
Immediately after postman’s arrival, I used to take a file in hand and going out without looking both sides in full sleeve shirt in executive style.
I did that to make others think that I am going for job or some higher studies.

But my routine was strange, morning to noon I was in a public library and when that closes at noon I was shifted to bishop’s library and again evening to public library.
That was the routine.
Then one day I met my friend in library and I told him my all problems. After hearing all, he proposed to me a solution.

“Can u take grammar classes for pre degree girls?”

“What are you asking? Grammar class, may be I have to refer all the English books from school classes again, okay that can be managed some how, but again how to manage the pre degree girls?”

I got a shivering in my legs, how that will work out for a nervous person like me?
But he encouraged me,” nothing will happen, you can do that?”
I had no other choices in front of me, so I accepted that offer and that was a small holding place for a person who was already drowning.
I started my classes with confidence.
The first few days were fine, but I was in front of the girls always with a heavily beating heart and some how completed the lessons and worrying everyday about the next day.
And one day that happened and that made me to make an end of my teaching career.

And she was the reason…Priya..
I noticed that girl on my first day itself and tried to avoid even an eye contact with her.
She was the smartest girl in the class and always surrounded with a group of her friends.
She was a cheerleader or a gangster of them.
I actually feared that group of butterflies.
And there was a very bad system there and that was troubling me always.
Every Friday was a day for interaction in English. In that class all the students can ask any questions in English and I should give answers in English to make the language fluent for them.
The first few questions were easy and I managed all.
Then there was a loud voice from the gang.
Priya called me and asked me very politely..

“Sir shall I ask a question please?”

Trying to hide my worries on face and I told her to ask.
She asked politely.

“Sir what are the ways that AIDS can be transmitted?”

All the girls started laughing by hearing that and started making many comments.

It was a simple question at any other instance and I knew the answer too.
But still I become nervous and my mouth become dry.

Some how I managed to tell that “AIDS is a serious decease and…….. it is spreading because of …unsafe ….

“Unsafe what sir?”

“ unsafe……….blood transaction”

Priya’s gang was laughing and she asked again, “that we know sir, but one more?

My hands and legs started shivering, some how again I said” because of…… using same needle……. to infected people…….. and…… others ……can be a cause …..no?…”

They laughed again and didn’t want to leave me…”sir we know that but one more, some thing like precaution while doing something? Didn’t you know that?”

….I said…”may be… may be …by…….. kissing each…. other can…also…… transmit no?….’

“No sir no…you don’t know? One more…main cause?”

I am totally lost and some how managed to tell that I will go to office and come back.

I quickly jumped out even with out taking my books and pen and that was my way out to my teaching profession also….

When I stopped my story, Priya came to me and said,,

“Yes all you said is true and please forgive me sir, that was just for a teenage fun and I am very happy to see you again here. And once you left the college we all felt very bad and wanted to meet you again for asking sorry, but we could never meet you and it happened now only, so now I am asking that sorry again sir”

I said, its all okay Priya, now I can understand that was a funny incident and I am also very happy to see you again here, and you will be one of our best family friends from today.

Mohan came and hold my hands while everybody was laughing.


Read Full Post »

I am not sure it was a dream or not… a girl was wandering on road….not exactly a girl, she was somewhere in a way turning to a woman. But her childish face and poses resembles a kid’s plays.
Where am I?
Why should I drive in this hot sun, hay look around I am too fast, slow down…
Life is like that when we are in hurry to grab a lot, movements become faster than expected and where is the time to look around.
I was asking myself a lot of questions, but I am not even ready to think of an answer.
I had a bicycle…lazy riding here and there… no hurry at all… God!!! She blocked the way, I feared her…half naked or full naked sometimes I feared that childish face…even I was also a child like her too.
Hot sun has become a companion for me nowadays and where I have time to stay in a shade. My customer is waiting somewhere and I have to reach there somehow before he reaches, otherwise it is going to affect the entire business.
I don’t like him…he has a cute face and sharp words…not only to me but also to the whole world, but what I have?
That thought terrifies me and started my first competition to a human…still continues for the struggle of life…to achieve the top most chairs and to survive there…I want to hate him and hate others with out a valid reason justifies to god…I hate myself also for doing that.
Today when I see a crowd near the bus stand or railway station, she crashes to my head….her childish face and naked body disturbs me. So I learned to divert the routs.
She is falling on my bicycle and grabbing the handle and trying to catch my hair.
A crowd is there around and watching us…..yes watching, watching, watching only…smile on every faces…no sympathy at all… A free show may be long awaited for them…enjoying the show of a mad girl, yes enjoyable… if she is not our mother or daughter???

I could not do anything on fear… my hands and lugs are become stuck like a statue.
Hay what is happening… her lips touched my face….
Was that a kiss???
A breeze with a bunch of roses fell on me…I had become weightless like a feather and slowly lifted up with the wind…I fell asleep.
I don’t want to open the glasses of my car, because I love the cooling inside. I don’t want a crazy hand to come inside and catch my hair… I can go inside a crowd and I can enjoy her half naked dance with a smile on face and a rap music on my HiFi Stereo system, because my glasses are up…I am covered and well protected…I think, Am I cruel too? How much money is enough to satisfy till the maximum possible days allowed, anybody calculated?
Ohhhhh god what a horn…disturbed my thoughts…humming a bee on head…lucky enough up to an inch gap to that truck…life is sometimes near to an inch gap no?
Who cares about that?
I had a little kindness in heart to get a punctured skirt and shirt to her.
But now where I missed it, I can’t remember…now I look other side to escape from the guilty feeling before it starts catching me, because I am inside a bubble created my own.
I fell down from my bicycle… every body started laughing, laughing, laughing only.
She gave a hand to me…. I looked her up side down… a rainbow was glowing behind her head…colorful…cute…I heard light thunders or tremors…..rain is going to come….a few drops hit on my eyes and flowed out…I wasn’t crying…but tears came out… I fell asleep.
Whaaaat a craaaashing sound…what happened behind…I stopped my car, came out and looked back….no … nothing there….empty road and that truck is rushing alone towards the other end of road…an eagle flying parallel to that also alone… both faded away till the limit of my eyes…now only the empty road…I slowly walked on the hard road…hot sun is straight on top and my brain is getting hot…I thought about that rainbow, am I not lucky enough to see a rainbow nowadays. I lost the eyes to see that and lost the heart to enjoy that beauty…but where? turned up my face…only hot sun is there, straight on top, nothing else…empty sky!!!
Where am I sleeping…and my bicycle is on the other side of road…and heard the crashing sound of truck…yes behind…I saw that punctured skirt and shirt….so who pushed me…my god…why did she do that? Mad girl…a mad girl did a mad act and she escaped…me too.
I saw that colorful rainbow behind her hanging hair…upside down again…the rain was stopped …tremors were stopped… was I crying… tears were coming out …there was red horizon behind her… red sun was slowly falling to darkness…

Read Full Post »

It is very difficult to analyze the real character of a person even if we stay with them a long time also.
My experience proved that, I want to tell you a strange story. (I don’t want to break the trust of any body and also I don’t want to break anybody’s married life, so I am not mentioning the real names of these characters)

Before telling the story, I want to welcome everybody to my office.
The first thing I have is a nice secretary, she is Ani.
She is the heartbeat of our office, being as a secretary she take care of the whole office and all the people in the office. That is her ability, I admit it, and if she is absent the whole office is sleeping.
Then I want to tell you about one handsome and smart guy in our office, he is Rakesh.
He is a friend of everybody and always in happy mood and smart. It is really interesting and time passing to talk with him.
But his wife is direct opposite, she is Supriya, she is also working in this office as a computer operator.
She is a very cute looking innocent girl but not expressive to everybody, always sitting in her place only and very rarely coming out of her place only to take lunch I think.
She doesn’t even talk to her husband also at the office hours, so nice personality.
Our Ani’s husband is a purchase manager in another well known company here in Kuwait.
That is the story he told everybody, but recently Rakesh made some investigation in that matter and he informed me the result of his secret mission.
He found that the story of purchase manager is fake and her husband is actually only a driver in that company. But when ever he comes in our place he is always in a manager’s get up only. What ever it may be, I don’t want to listen all this scraps!!!!

But I know one thing about Supriya, even if she is not talking to many people, but still she is a close friend of Ani. Always coming for lunch together and I found them sitting and talking for a long time.
If I write like this, I have to write about many interesting personalities in our office. But I will write next time about them, because only these characters are appearing in this episode of my office story.

That day was a very busy day and there were so much of tensions from the morning.
I was able to manage all those, but I became tired due to the high fever started hitting me.
I wanted to go back to home and take rest, but was not in a situation to do, because of an important meeting with important clients scheduled after noon.
One of my colleagues noticed my tiredness and advised me to go and take rest in his room at least one or two hours and he said he will inform me before the client’s arrival.
I agreed that because he was staying in a bachelor’s villa very near to our company where as my flat was very far from company.
I went to his villa and opened his room, it was a nice big room and three more rooms on the same floor inside a single floor and the hall was common for all.
I found all other rooms were locked and nobody was there. There also our employees are living but all of them are in office now.
So it is peaceful to sleep for one hour, I thought.
Immediately I went to bed and fell asleep.

After half an hour I heard a female voice and got up from sleep.
It was coming from the hall just outside my room. I tried to listen carefully, it was a known voice but I was not able to hear anything clearly.
Still I wondered who may be there in this bachelor’s building.
What business is going on?
Then I thought it is none of my business. What ever it may be, I didn’t want to open the door and check it.
After a few minutes the sounds disappeared. Then I fell asleep again.
I woke up again after one hour and felt all silent again.
I went to the hall and sat there for five minutes.

Then very unexpectedly that happened.
The door just in front of my room was opened and two people came out.
With out thinking that a person sitting in the hall, they came out and trapped in front of me.
I couldn’t have imagined about them, if I heard this story from somebody else. But I had to believe that, because it happened straight in front of my eyes. They were Ani and Rakesh.
It was a normal practice for them.
I thought that was the reason that many days she used to ask permission for going out one hour and she was telling the reasons that some functions in her kids school or something related to her kids.
Now they have been caught red handed!!!
But I become shocked by seeing both of them.
Nobody talked anything for a few minutes.
Suddenly she ran out without telling anything.
But Rakesh stood their only.
I asked him “Rakesh, what’s happening here? How can I believe this?”
I don’t have to write about his situation at that time, everybody can imagine that.
He didn’t reply anything.
I told him to go out and closed the door.
Many thoughts came in to my mind. How he managed to get the key of this room? Who’s room is that? May be that decent fellow also a part of this.

I went back to office with a disturbed mind about thinking of their families.
How this is going to end up in their family life. I don’t have any idea.
My wife is a close friend of Ani and Supriya. How she will react if I tell this to her.
Anyway I decided to call them and talk individually about this.

First I called Ani.
She came to my cabin with out a pleasant mood.
I asked her” I know it is your personal matter, I don’t want to disturb you, but still I need an answer? How can you cheat your husband and your dearest friend?
She told immediately “ I am not cheating anybody, I know very well about my husbands character and many stories about his relations with many girls, so I am not feeling any guilty in this, and Supriyas case, He only approached me, I couldn’t resist myself, may be my fault, but personal weakness, once it happened and I couldn’t resist.” I will stop doing if you say”

I said” no it is your life and your decision, but what about your kids and family life?

“No problems so far, we live as a happy family still”

“Okay, I am nobody to say anything in this regard; you have the right to decide”

Then I called Rakesh and asked him.

‘Rakesh, did you think about your loving wife?”
He said” I did many times, but I couldn’t control myself…I was like this only from the college days.’

“Oh it is so nice, but do you like to see your wife going with somebody like this?”

“No sir, never, no husbands will never like to see that”

“Rakesh, that is a big joke from you, so man can do anything not woman, that’s what you are thinking?

There was no answer for my question and he also left the room.

That made me to think a lot about family and relations.
How close friends Supriya and Ani are, then what is the meaning of friendship and cheating?
Made for each other couples are Rakesh and Supriya, then what is the meaning of trust and love?
I never wanted to reveal any truths to anybody.

“Better not to tell unhappy truths”

Their life goes on still… happy married lives.
But now whenever I see Supriya with Rakesh, I feel pity about her.

What will happen if god will replay there life episode in front of their partners?

Its fun thinking, but definitely not fun for them.

Read Full Post »

I thought that writing is a difficult job for me ,but…
I feel easy to write about the real incidents happened, in my life and around me.
(May be I can not write anything other than that ,no?)
This is also one of those kinds.

Story of a pretty innocent teenage girl.

How can I forget her?
She was in my life for hardly one or two hours, but still I regret that I could have given her a life.

Once we were on vacation in Kerala and always my most interesting hobby is driving through the unknown roads by seeing all the greenery around. And that day Renu also joined with me.
When we passed a small city, Renu remembered something and told me to stop the vehicle. She told me that there is somewhere her old teacher lives and she want to meet her after a long time and to give her a surprise visit.
I said okay and easily she spotted a small yellow painted old house before the next turning.
We stopped the vehicle just in front of the gate and went inside. Renu knocked the door while I was searching for the door bell that I couldn’t find.
After a minute a young pretty looking girl opened the door.
Renu told me, that must be Chinnu, teachers only daughter.
She asked her, “hay chinnu, did you remember me?”
Chinnu didn’t like that addressing and replied, “I am not chinnu I am Aparna?” Who are you?
Oh sorry for that Aparna, I am your mothers old student, could you please call her?
She looked both of us and went inside with out giving a smile also.
Renu told me, I am sure that is chinnu only; she was only four years old when Renu saw her last time and she has grown up after around thirteen years. Now she couldn’t recognize Renu.
I thought it is correct, time has changed Renu also a lot, now she is not looking like the naughty girl that I met first time in college and I was in doubt that teacher can recognize her or not.
But teacher came out and proved that my doubts are in wrong place, she immediately recognized her and hugged her with surprise. Then Renu introduced me also to her. Teacher was very happy that we visited her after a long time.
I was planned to spend there only a fifteen minutes, but we couldn’t deny teachers invitation to stay for some time and have a lunch with them. We spent some happy hours with them by remembering the memories of school days and sharing new stories.
Teacher’s life has been miserable after her husband’s death and now she is retired also.
Now her only aim is to give a good education to her only daughter Aparna (she is the same girl, chinnu was the pet name in childhood) and to give her hands to some good boy.
That is the only dream she has now and she is financially troubling a lot after her retire and trying to manage Aparna’s education expenses with the pension amount and a small amount she is earning by taking tuition of some high school students. I saw tears in her eyes when she tells that. My mind gets disturbed terribly when I see that in anybody’s eyes.

But I was wondering about the behavior of Aparna. They said she is a plus two student, and she looks like a smart and beautiful girl with very innocent looking face. But unlike that some thing missing in her character and she didn’t talk to us anything and looked always like depressed.
I asked about her studies just for the sake of breaking silence, but she didn’t entertain that and limited her answer in two words and she was only sitting and watching both of us.
Renu didn’t notice anything while busy talking to her old teacher.
What ever it may be, let it be their own business. I just skipped out and lighted up a cigarette.
After a tasty lunch we told them good bye and moved my car and saw them going behind……..
from my mind also… I am not going to see them again any more.

But faith was different……. I saw her again,

The same day evening I was busy replying some business mails, heard the phone ringing. I looked around for Renu, and couldn’t find her.
So I went and took the phone, that was a female voice that I couldn’t recognize.
I asked again, Hello, may I know who is this?
There was a very soft voice, “I am Aparna, didn’t you remember?”
“No, which Aparna?”
“The same Chinnu, today you came to our house?”
“Hay Aparna, what a surprise, is this you, okay, hold on I will call Renu now.”
“No, please don’t call her?”
‘Then, what?”
“I want to talk to you only.”
“What are you telling, you want to talk to me? “
“Yes, it is something very important and please don’t tell Renu about this.”
I wondered what she has to tell me, I met her today only and I have no other relations with her. But I felt a severe tension in her soft and nervous voice
I asked her calmly,
“What happened Aparna, tell me?”
“Could you please come in front of GCDA complex tomorrow morning at 10 o’ clock, I have an urgent matter to tell you.”
What is this, it seems pretty madness, what to tell her?
She asked again, ‘could you please come?’
“Okay I will come. “
I don’t know why did I say that at that moment.
“Thank you, I will be waiting there, but please don’t tell anybody.”
She cut the phone.

I shut down my computer and sat down in such a dilemma, what to do or not to do?
What may be the reason she is calling me?
May be she is having any love at first sight to me, we don’t know young girls, what they are thinking.
Che che what I am thinking, I am a married man , quiet impossible, she know that also.
Then what?
She must be in some kind of trouble and need my help or may be need some money.
That must be the reason, I assumed. But why me?
After half an hour thinking, I decided not to tell Renu about this. Why to give her a head ache, if I can solve this myself.

I reached in front of the complex almost the same time what she said.
I saw her waiting in the parking before I reach there. I parked my car and walked to her.

“Hay Aparna nice to meet you again, tell me what is the problem you have?”

Instead of giving answer she invited me to the back side of the complex to sit and talk where empty benches are available in the marine drive.
We sat on an empty bench and I was looking to her face with enthusiasm.
A few moments of silence and I felt a starting trouble for her.
I tried to comfort her and asked her to speak friendly and consider me like a friend or elder brother and tell me whatever she wants to tell.
She broke the silence and started talking.
But the story was a shocking one for me.
She had an affair with a boy who was working in a ladies fancy shop near to her school for more than a year and she believed it was a real love and she dreamed that they will be living together at a time everybody agree them to do that.
She dreamed that all in her immature mind and was trapped in the words and fascination of him.
Once in some moment where she couldn’t resist him and she had all the kinds of physical relations also with him.
But the boy was not a kind of person what she was thinking.
He took many naked photos of her and kept in his custody.
She become shocked by seeing his friends with him when she went to there secret place next time, and he asked her to share fun with them also.
It was insufferable for a girl like her, and she tried to escape from them.
But she was already in side there tight nets.
That incident broke her heart and pushed her in to mere depression.
Recently he started blackmailing her by showing her naked photos and sending photos to her email and asking her to co-operate with them, otherwise they threaten her that they will expose all her photos in internet or distribute in college.
And that was her dilemma that she was not able to tell anybody this matter and nobody was there to help her.
Now she found a last hope after seeing me, and she thought I am a strange person to the village and looks like a decent man and may be I am going to help her.
She explained me a new way to help her.
Just go with her to his place and she will tell him that I am her fiancé and our marriage is been fixed.
And I have to tell him that I knew everything and I accepted all her faults and agreed to marry her. And ask him not to make any trouble and give the photos back and don’t come again in our ways.
I also thought it is a good idea, may be he will not make any trouble if he knows that people are there with her.
But how can I go with her for this purpose.
I will be in trouble and day by day similar cases are there in news papers and I didn’t want my name will get spoiled if something goes wrong.
So I didn’t want to agree her suggestion, instead consoled her and advised her not to worry, this is happening for many girls now a days. And what he can do? Now days so many morphing techniques are there, anybody can create the naked photos of anybody. So don’t worry about that and forget that chapter.
“Don’t go and meet him.”
She found very depressed again by hearing my negative replies.
But what to do, I had no other choices to take.
Going to police or any other officials will cause her name to come out with big publicity and that will spoil her life and the respect of her mother.
We took a juice together and I dropped her to bus stand.
I went back to home with a disturbed mind, again some worries about her.
Should I have to tell this to Renu. I decided not to tell her, that was the final request from Aparna.
I heard the phone ringing again while taking our dinner, Renu went and took the phone, but there was nobody on the line.
It happened twice again, I got a doubt that may be Aparna is calling.
I got an unknown feeling in my mind and so much of worries about that innocent girl.
Renu was also noticed the worries in my face and asked many times, finally I decided to tell her that, to get a relief for my mind.
After hearing all the stories, she was little angry to me because of not telling her when her first call came.
I told her the reason that I didn’t do that.
After a lot of thinking she came up with a strong decision that I couldn’t take.

She told me to go with her tomorrow and see that boy and get all the photos and warn him to not disturb her any more.
She said this is the case of the life of a young girl, “we can’t avoid it just like that ayyan, and more over she is the only daughter of my dearest teacher and you also heard that how much she is suffering for her and she is living only for her.”
“So you must go tomorrow and do that Ayyan please”
Yes, what she says is correct, I should go and now I am the only person responsible to save her.
I decided that and slept with a peaceful mind.
We were eagerly waiting for her call from the morning but she didn’t call.
Then Renu decided to call her house.
First two times the ring was going on but nobody took the phone..
Third time somebody took but that was not Aparna or teacher, it was a male voice.
Renu gave phone to me, I asked. “Is this teacher’s house?”
Yes who is this?
I am her friend, can I get her?
He said, how can I give her now, didn’t you know everything?
What everything? No I didn’t know?
Her daughter committed suicide yesterday night.
Phone dropped down from my hands and I sat on bed with out any voice.
Dear Aparna, forgive me …forgive to this bad world.
I didn’t tell this story to anybody, if I do, may be I can put that boy in jail, but I didn’t want to spoil the respectful life that both of them lived so far, and what else ,Aparna has gone and she is not going to come back. And I believe that a judge and court is there better than all the judges in the world and he will give punishment to him.
I put them behind my memories …
I am not going to see her again any more….its sure….
I forgot her also………

Read Full Post »

Sneha is in love, and that is my biggest headache now.
Don’t confuse about who is this Sneha.
She is my closest little friend.
She is one of my relative’s daughter.
But our friendship started when she was a baby girl.
If you want to imagine her, just imagine a cute white marble statue with glittering dark hair.
She was very cute looking as a child, and I never wanted to miss even a single chance to kiss her when she was a child.
But now that era has gone.
She has grown up and reached to sweet seventeen.
But still our friendship remains same and she has all the freedom to discuss anything with me.
This is not a story but only some signs of a story may happen in future, after a few months. But I can’t write it now, and I am not sure about that story will have a happy end or tragic end.

Okay let us come back to Sneha.
I couldn’t get a chance to meet her almost six months because of my short vacation trips to India and our friendship was limited to a few phone calls and short mails.
After a long gap I got a chance to visit her on my last vacation.
She was very happy to see me and talked a lot about the new happenings in her tiny world.
But finally she gave me a stroke.
She revealed me her latest secret and that shocked me.
What is that?
“She is in love with a boy.”
I know nothing much to worry in that, if it is a simple teenage attraction. It happens in college life …boy friends, girl fiends just for fun…
But I knew the intensity of her love in her words and I saw that in her eyes and I knew her feelings.
I think I can better understand her feelings, may be even better than her parents. She was really serious about that, nothing for fun, nothing for joke.
And that shocked me.
Secondly, she is a Hindu and he is a Muslim.
That shocked me again.
Finally, she is in an average rich family, and he is from a poor family
That also shocked me again.
I personally feel no difference in cast and religion, and believe all human beings are same.
I personally feel again no difference in rich and poor.
But still I shocked because she is so dear to me.

She doesn’t know or doesn’t have enough maturity to think about the customs (that may be right or wrong but we are forced to follow), or must have forgotten after falling in deep love.
But I am aware about all that and that scares me.
She shown me some of his photos, yes looks quiet handsome, perfect match for her.
It may be difficult to find such a handsome guy.
I agree that also, but still how can I support her.
What advice can I give to her.
It is cent percent sure that her family will never allow for their marriage.
There will be an explosion, if this news reaches to her family.
Sneha has two younger sisters also, I can’t forget them, because they are also so dear to me. I didn’t have a daughter for many years, so I considered all of them as my daughters and still there is no change in that.
And if she does anything wrong, that will badly affect their future also.
But she says that she has already decided to live with him only, otherwise she will select the way to end her life.
She has decided to do that, no way coming back; it is not a fascination she tells she has chosen her way.
She knows that her family won’t allow in any chance.
So she is waiting to reach up to eighteen years old and then planning to go with him, register the marriage and live with him somewhere else.
So we have eight more months remaining………
Countdown begins; I have a little time to decide something.
She has already asked all my supports for living them together.
She know nobody will support her but still keeping a hope in me only, that I was a person knowing all this and she thinks I have a forward thinking mind and may help her in this dilemma, and she asked me to be with her once after the expected getaway from home.
But if I am going to help her, I will definitely have to face a lot of problems from all the relatives and I may be loosing all the respect of many of them and may be expelled from all of them.
Nowadays all the medias are highlighting the latest controversy “love jihad” issues, they says there are some Muslim jihad’s groups working in Kerala to track out Hindu girls and trap them in love and to change there religion after marriage.
I don’t know how much truth in that, but in this situation, even I can’t approach any of her relatives with this kind of a proposal.
I tried in all my ways to discourage her from this relation.
But she is even not ready to hear any words against her decision.
I know the strength of her love has become much stronger than anything else and it can make her to forget all other relations.
She is very strong about her decision, and she has got a do or die answer only.
If she can’t live with him, she says damn sure she will end her life.
I am much terrified by hearing her words, by keeping some previous experiences in mind, including Aparna’s sad ending of life.
She called him in front of me from my mobile phone and asked me to talk to him.
She has already introduced about me to him well before our meeting and told him that I am the only person they can believe in her relatives.
I talked to him, only one time but felt a good impression about him.
The first impression I felt in his words was not so bad, very nice and matured talk.
He is educated, and working as a lecturer in a private parallel college after completing his degree just two years back.
If I keep aside all the problems of religion and money, he is perfectly suit for her.
But what to do, how can I accept that?
But luckily nothing has crossed any limits, hasn’t reached up to any physical relations.
I only advised her about such traps and told her to be very careful about that, rest of the things can be discussed later.

I discussed everything with my wife and she also talked to her personally.
Her reply made me more tensed.
As per her, this is not a teenage fascination. It is a deep love. She warned me.
Ayyan, this is a deep love; nothing is in front of that, so please be very careful.
Yes I should be very careful.
I have eight more months to decide.
She has also eight more months to change her decision.
I don’t want to take a wrong decision.
I don’t want to loose her like Aparna.
Because Aparna was a strange girl to me.
But Sneha is not a strange girl, she is the dearest to me.
I can’t even imagine, if anything happens to her.
Girls, please be careful, this is your life, please think again and again before taking any decision.
Once you reached in such a situation you may have to face lot of troubles in life and may have to give so much of agony to many others who love you and living for you.
Love is not a bad thing in our world, love is really a great feeling.
But when we are living in a society , we are forced to follow something more important than love and beliefs, we must understand that bitter truths.
Due to my busy schedule I am able to see her once in a three or four months during my short vacations, until then I have a few mails and phone call s only with her.
Her father was working abroad for many years away from family and recently settled in Kerala. I know he is not a friendly father to her. He pretends as a strict father in front of them.
Her mother is a poor lady taking all the responsibility of the house and seems always busy doing something and I think she doesn’t seem much care about them ,not much worried about where they are going and what time coming back and all, she thinks they are still children.
Should I have to tell her parents, but all the happiness and peace in family will be disturbed in my singe word?
All her trust to me will spoil in that single word.
I don’t know how she will react then.
I don’t really know what decision I will take, but I pray god that nothing should hurt her and nothing should harm her.
I want to see she will be living a happy married life.
We all like to see love in songs and films, when we watch a love story all of us really want the lovers to cross all the struggles and win their love.
But when it happens in our family, our daughters or our sons, it becomes a serious issue and more than love, we are forced to think about other issues.
Then we never want the lovers win their love.
I don’t mind she will win her love or fail.
But I don’t want her to fail in her life.

Read Full Post »

Just some memories of my college days,
Memories of happy days give still happiness and want to share with all of you.
I studied in a well known management college and life was so wonderful because it was a mixed college and I came from a boys only school. But I was too shy to mingle with girls and never had courage to talk or to be with them. But I liked to see them and enjoy their beauty as much as with out their knowledge.
Life was going on smoothly, then one day that happened, and that made a lot of changes in my life.
One new girl joined in our department, she was Renuka.
I had an unknown feeling started in mind after seeing her and may be that is what everybody say “love at first site”.
But she never knew that and she was not even looking me and I also never got a chance to go and talk to her.
But I was always mad about her and thinking of her and going behind her all the way without her knowledge.
I changed my rout and started one hour early, changed three buses to catch the same bus that she travels.
I was much happy to see her always, and I started getting pain in my neck by looking always to left side in class room.
And one fine day god gave me a good chance.
There were monthly examinations conducted in all classed and the evaluation of the answer sheets were being done by students only.
The system was like exchanging all the papers from boys to girls randomly and vice versa.
So one by one everybody was exchanging answer papers and how luckily
I got Renukas answer papers.
I was much happy even to touch her answer papers and I started shivering my body after touching those papers, I had a feeling like touching her. I was ready to give full marks to all papers even without reading.
She gave all the papers kept inside a book with a beautiful smile on her face.
That was enough for me.
I took all the papers to home and started reading at night after everybody slept.
I started reading all the papers like a love letter and read again again, but I really found absolutely all the answers are correct and she deserves full marks.
After reading all, I just looked a glance to her book and I surprised by seeing two three stories written on the back pages of her book in her own handwriting.
The stories were marvelous and I felt how good she is in story writing.
I am impressed more on her character.
Next day I returned all the papers and books to her and didn’t tell anything about her stories.
After seeing the full marks on papers she passed a smile to me and said thanks.
I also congratulated for her highest scores.
That was my first introduction to her.
Then I wanted to get her impression somehow and the way I found was strange, but that worked out.
I took one of her best story and made some my own corrections and submitted to the college story competition. I was damn sure that she will win the first prize.
And that day came; principal announced the prizes of story competitions at the inauguration meeting of college day.
He announced the first prize goes to “Renuka”…
She surprised by hearing that, but thought that may be any other Renuka, suddenly I went and congratulated her and told her everything that I have done for her.
She amazed by hearing all and become very happy, there we started our friendship.
But mine was not a friendship, that was a deep love, but I didn’t know what she is having to me, only a friendship or a love.
I didn’t have the courage to ask that, but I was waiting for a chance to ask.
Days were passing very happily.

One day Sandeep joined in our college, he is the villain in my story.
He was a distant relative of Renuka, so from the first day he was very close to Renu and I saw them together always. My jealousy started, he is more handsome than me and more smart also.
Many times I tried to tell Renu to avoid him, but she was telling Sandeep is a good friend of her.
I become frustrated and didn’t know what to do.
Many weeks I avoided her, a few times she came and sat near me in canteen, but I just avoided her and went out without telling anything or without hearing what she wanted to say.
I felt an unknown doubt that she is in love with Sandeep.

Yes I confirmed myself that she is in love with Sandeep.
But how to confirm?
I was desperately searching all the ways to confirm her love with Sandeep.
But I couldn’t…

Then again that day come, our monthly examinations, this time luckily or unluckily some how her papers came to me again after a long time.

By seeing me in front of her, she kept all the papers inside a book and gave me with out looking to my face and with out even a smile on her face.
I didn’t ask her anything and I didn’t want to read those papers and I was thinking the ways to fail her in all papers.
I didn’t wait up to night, immediately after reaching home I read the papers quickly and gave some average marks than actually those deserved.
Again I looked at a glance to her book and found some story on the back pages.

I started reading with out any interest, but I shocked and surprised after started reading that. It was not a story, but was a love letter to me.

I took several minutes to come out from that shocking and happiest moment in my life……

I never expected in my dreams that a girl like her will express her love to me in such a way, that was a thrilling experience.

I felt flying like a feather and my body became hot like an H1N1 patient.

My one way love stopped there and our two way love started.
Rest of the days in college become happy days again and still continues…

“And now she is my dearest wife.”

Read Full Post »